


Lucky You

by riversthecalifornicana



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Futurama, Red Hot Chili Peppers (Band), The Offspring
Genre: F/F, F/M, This is my very first crossover fic yay, Yeah the title is an eminem reference shaddup, fry and them too, rivers and bender become friends, viva carlos santana - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-09-17 10:21:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16972770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversthecalifornicana/pseuds/riversthecalifornicana
Summary: Well, we’re fucked.Shit continent wants to kill the shit people it holds? Check.People killing each other for food stuffs? Check.And we’re trying to survive to get to the next safehouse?I mean, I guess, check.I don’t know, you don’t have to read this shit.~Sayori Delarosa18 years oldFrom Fullerton, CaliforniaLiving in Seal Beach, California.





	1. Lucky You

“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Natsuki yelled.  
I looked up in confusion. Natsuki was usually calmer.  
Rivers was eating the fries in the fridge.  
“These don’t make me feel good like the ones at McDonalds...” he said.  
Normally, I would find that funny. He’s my boyfriend. No shit. But, once shit hits the fan, my sense of humor went out the fucking window.  
I try to collect everything. I guess people were rioting in all the major cities. Big riots. Devastated cities. Then I guess the borders were shut down.  
Last time I checked, all the countries on both North and South America agreed that the best idea is to just kill everybody on both continents.  
Now, roughly three weeks later, we still aren’t able to leave my house.  
Rivers was the only one with any sort of weapon, a seven-inch butterfly knife from the Batangas region of the Philippines. We had to be alert to survive, since anyone can just break the windows and kill us in our sleep.  
Yuri was tying on the dinosaur. I can’t blame her, we’ve all been doing it for about a week. I could still get off that shit before getting addicted, but it’s fun to shoot up to Radiohead and 90s Eminem.

We’ve been planning to leave. Electricity still works, so we aren’t totally out of the loop. I would’ve shot myself if the Internet went out. I’ve been trying to look on the bright side for a bit, maybe we should go outside and do something fun, like drive drunk around downtown L.A.  
“First of all, Los Angeles got destroyed.” Natsuki said, “second of all, all we have is a knife.”

Me and Natsuki played Fortnite while Rivers, Yuri, Monika shot up in the basement. Conrado, our friend who we invited to the Literature Club, decided to just take a nap.

Natsuki beat my ass in Fortnite. Really bad. Over and over. 

Rivers stumbled into the living room. He waddled over in his high state to the couch, where he started doing that thing where you see how fast you can stab your pen between your fingers and back, but he did it with a knife.  
I took the knife and hid it. I’m not trying to see him stab himself. Eventually, he came down and started crying in the corner. I guess I should help him, but that’s just what happens when you come down off a high. Damn, this sucks.

I even heard Seal Beach, the city we live in, isn’t even all that bad. In L.A. and Riverside, people are shooting up schools just to hide out in them. I think the CVS is still open.  
I step outside for a moment and I see a dude stumbling down the road. I immediately grab a baseball bat, but you’re not really feared or hideable when you hear “Criminal” by Eminem on the radio. Yuri and Rivers beat the guy, who seems like a 20-year-old dude, and stole his money.

They came back with 93 dollars.  
“Well, let’s go to CVS.” Rivers said.


	2. Lucky You 2 (With A Side of Mountain Dew Merry Mashup and Del Scorcho Sauce)

Hey everybody, start rioting on the streets of Chicago!  
Because I’m aliiiive!

Yaaaaaaaaay!

And consider this chapter my Christmas special, because I’m gonna be too lazy to move on Christmas.

Anyhow, before I start the story again, I’ll update you on some shit and why I’ve been gone.  
Okay, so I finally finished writing the shitload we call Greatest-Hits. Believe it or not, but that story was hot trash before, and now it’s cold trash. Not sure if pretty boy DDLC_Stories wants to give it the killshot or not.  
And I got into a big diss war with RandomIdiot because he used my name disrespectfully in his fanfic, so I shot back and he wasn’t too happy about it. Now they’re both saying shit behind my back, I bet.  
This book isn’t really that important, since I’m probably gonna rip a page of Monika’s playbook and delete myself off the fandom.  
Yay!  
Anyhow, I also changed my name and wallpaper! My name was because Conrado (ask and I’ll fill you in), and my wallpaper was supposed to change with my books in a way. Like, I wrote Smash, and I had my first profile pic (not wallpaper), and I forgot to update it in Americana, and I’m updating it for Lucky You. 

Anyways, no one wants to read about my life or how I got turned on, you were here for the story. Let’s read the story!

—————-

I don’t have any manners.  
Haha, funny. I remember my dad was always on me about being respectful. Guess that shit was gone when they died. Anyhow, I grabbed my knife and left for the CVS a mile away. In the cold fog.  
It was dark, so we used Yuri’s good sense of navigation.  
I feel like someone was gonna snipe me out of nowhere. I pulled out my knife and started walking on the street to the right.

That street went on for a quarter of a mile. I remember my friend Kelly Vargas lived here with his younger brother Ryan. They’re both from San Diego, and we’re really good friends.

Then it hit me too. 

Kelly has guns in his basement!

We stopped at his house and knocked on the door.  
The light turned on and the door opened.  
It was Ryan.  
“Hey, dude. Is Kelly home?” I asked.  
“He hasn’t been for hours. If you see him, tell him to go home, yeah?”  
“For sure! Bye!” 

I went off.  
The CVS wasn’t far now. I could see the glow of the lights on top of the houses.  
I ran when I heard someone put a knife to my throat and say, “Who the fuck are you, fool?”  
I knew Kelly, like me, smoked a lot of weed, so this was normal.  
“It’s Rivers, dog. Get the fuck off me!”  
Then he realized it was me and we laughed and said whats up. Then we walked to the CVS and kinda left Yuri to be a third wheel.  
“Your brothers worried, man, like he wants you home.”  
He insisted we walk to the CVS to stock up first. 

 

What I like about our CVS?  
They have shopping carts.  
Big ones.  
So we fill them with food, snacks, and supplies.  
Then we head to Kelly’s pad for some gun hookups. He gave me a shotgun and Yuri got a submachine gun. 

“Hey, dude, wanna come to our pad. It’s a lot safer.”  
“I’m not sure, I gotta watch Ryan.”  
“Take Ryan. It’s a lot better, man.”  
He hesitantly agreed and we went off.  
We ran with the shopping cart up our street and into our house. Everyone was happy. Sayori kissed me, and invited me to play Fortnite. I played for a bit, but then I fell asleep.  
I think Nat and Kelly were talking, but I was too asleep to know for sure. The last noise I heard was some dude saying,

“Bite my shiny metal ass.”


	3. Mona Lisa

Me, Kelly, and Monika left later in the night. We brought the three weapons we have.  
I got the shotgun, because I can give a decent killshot, Kelly got the SMG, since that fool is the king of Fortnite, and Monika got the knife because she doesn’t like guns.  
Our destination?  
1524 Marine Avenue. It’s by 17th Street, and those fools don’t fuck around.  
We drive because we’re in a hurry.  
I know the dude who stays there. His name is Scott Tayman.  
He’s this wannabe popular kid, and he used to be, but more Mexicans and Asians came to the school, and he kinda got sided. He hangs out with the white boys, and all the white girls crush on him. I know him. He used to be a really nice human being. He has a nice ass house. His mom died, and my mom did too, so I feel for him.  
Fuck, we used to be really good friends. Then that fucker turned his back on me.  
I’ve always wanted to apologize and reconcile, but I’m not here to forgive. 

I would like to take you back to the “he has a nice house” part. He still lives in California, but he always say California sucks and Florida is better.  
I turn around, and I see a guy walking.  
It looks like a stick is hanging out of his head.  
I stop the car and get out.  
“Hey, ese, show yourself!”  
He keeps walking towards me. He doesn’t even notice me.  
“I said, show yourself, motherfucker!”  
Monika gets ready to stab.  
I used to hate her, but recently I’ve had a bit more respect for her. 

Then he comes under the streetlights.  
He’s...

A robot?!  
What the fuck?

“Bite my shiny metal ass.” the robot says.  
“Who the fuck are you, metallico?” Kelly asks.  
“I’m Bender, hombre,” he says in a fake Mexican accent, “who are you?”

Then another dude pops up.  
“Bender, who are these people?” the dude with orange hair asks.  
“And why the fuck do they have guns?!” he yells.  
“Chill out, Fry.” Bender says, “they’re harmless humans.”

“Hey, you seem cool,” Monika interjects, “wanna ride along?”  
“Sure!” Fry says, “..but first, what year is this?”  
“2018, tonto,” Kelly responds, “what, you come out of a time machine?”  
“Actually..” Bender says, “we did.”

I believed the robot. No robot today can talk or cuss like Bender. We took them along and we got to talking on the way to Lee’s pad.  
Eventually, I stumbled on a cool fact.  
“I’m from Tijuana!”  
“You’re from Tijuana?”, I responded, astounded, “Funny, I’m from Rosarito!”  
So we ended up talking, and we became cool.  
“Where we heading?” the ginger named Fry asked.  
“We’re here.”  
And we pulled up on a nice house with a Corvette and two stories.  
I think Nat might have something with the dude living here, but that’s not why I’m here.  
Let me give you some info about why this house is so important.  
This house has a dude who I’ll say the name of later, but for now you need to know he’s a dude from Southlake, my high school, who was pretty much the king of white boys, but he was a white dude from the bad parts of Florida. I guess he ended up jumping Natsuki and her boyfriend Lee. For some reason, that got him more popular.  
Natsuki’s one of my best friends, so me, Kelly, Natsuki, and four other Bloods from 9th Street jumped him behind Jack-In-The-Box. Then a few days later six of his homies jumped me and Sayori on 13th.  
Anyhow, I got out of the car.  
I could hear someone make the Blood call from the side of the street.  
Suu whoop!

I jumped the fence and so did the others, Fry, Bender, Kelly, and Monika. We ended up smashing the kitchen window in with a rock, and I cut my wrists by accident. We went in, and we were stealthy and quiet. But then Bender knocked something over.

“What the fuck, bro?” I whispered.  
I heard him come down the stairs, and I hid in the bathroom.  
“Who’s there? Fucking show yourself!” Scott yelled.  
Kelly was the first one to jump out. He pulled the SMG out and yelled, “Get on the ground, motherfucker!”  
I turned on the lights and socked him in the face.  
“Chill the fuck out, Kelly.” I yelled, “I want him to savor the moment.”  
I grabbed him and threw him against the floor, knocking him out.  
“Yay! I’m doing burgling!” Bender cheered.

 

So Monika got the food, and some video games since I’d like some more.  
I ran out the house and started the car. The Bloods are down with Scott, and I feel they’re coming for me.  
Eventually, everyone but Kelly is in the car.

I’m not sure what Kelly was doing, but eventually I heard the gunshots ring out and the Crip whistle, followed by him hopping the car thirty seconds later.  
“Fucking go, dude, what are you waiting for?” Kelly yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep and im not sorry
> 
> Also i hope me and justsagan can do something together
> 
> ~rivers


	4. Rise and Fall

We get home from our resupply mission. Sayori’s watching Netflix and Yuri and Conrado are making out. I realized I need to pick up a few homies and get them here. I go back to my room and Sayori follows me.

“Aren’t you gonna chill?” Sayori asks me, “It’s the end of the goddamn world!”

“I gotta pick up my homies and bring them here,” I responded.

“Well, can’t you do that tomorrow? I got another idea of what we can do...” she says in a seductive manner of voice.

_A night slapping out with Sayori sounds tempting..._

“I mean, that sounds fun, but they could be dead tomorrow.”

“Well... maybe later?” she asks.

“Sure, why not?”

 

So we head out for our rescue mission. I got two homies who I need to bring. The first, and most important, is my boi Lee. He moved here from Texas, and I’m sure Natsuki is missing him, so I picked him up in Garden Grove, which is relatively close.

I drove up to his house and knocked on the door

“Oh, hi guys! Why are you here?” he asks.

“Hey, so Natsuki really misses you and wants to know if you can come over!” Sayori says in a cheery voice.

The word Natsuki really makes him think.

“Sure, I’ll be there, but I’m gonna take my car.”, pointing to his shiny Corvette.

 

He heads out and we take the drive down the empty freeway to Huntington Beach, just south of Seal Beach. Kelly’s sister lives down there. She’s really important to Kelly and Ryan, and I promised them I’d come get her.

I head off onto the exit into Huntington, where I see a few dudes mugging a homeless guy and prostitute following a guy into the dark. Only a few streetlights stay lit.

Ah, good old fashioned Huntington Beach, I thought.

The dark street makes it hard to go, but GPS is another of the few things that work.

 

Eventually, I see Jimena at home watching TV.

Down the blocks, a couple Bloods are banging. I need to work fast, since I’m pretty sure all the Bloods in Orange County are out to kill me.

 

I knock on her window.

She notices me and opens the door.

“What the hell are you doing here, Rivers?” she asks me sternly, “You know the Bloods run over here.”

“Kelly and Ryan want you back at Seal Beach. Come with, I’ll drive you.”

I’m way shorter than her, and way, way younger. I’m 18. She’s 24. So eventually she agrees to come, packs her stuff in my car, and goes.

 

We make the ride home and Kelly and Ryan are very happy to have Jimena back.

Now that everyone’s back, I go back to my room.

Sayori’s waiting for me in my room.

“You done now?” she asked.

 


End file.
